Sinners in the Pew
I was the only pastor on campus that given afternoon. From time to time, we have strangers walk through the church office doors requesting benevolence help. Most of the time, the individuals are looking for either assistance with food or they are requesting some sort of financial handout. But this particular woman was different.
I sat across the table and asked her how I could help her today and her response caught me off guard, “I want you to hire me. I need a job.”
“Oh,” I stammered, “What type of work are you looking for?”
“I am a worship leader. I want to lead worship here,” came her poignant response.
At this point, I chuckled inside my head at the thought of her meeting with our current worship pastor and making her brazen request. It was probably best that she was meeting with me.
Through a very long conversation, I found out that we were her fourth church stop that day. She had made the same request to three other pastors and had found herself unhired. Now, she was across from me sharing how she had a call on her life and wanted to make music for God. I began to encourage her in that call and then asked how she was currently using her gifts while waiting for God to open a vocational option for her. This is when the conversation went south, fast!
My guess is she realized that there wasn’t a job opening for a music pastor at our church, so her focus quickly shifted to criticism and attack. She began to voice her disgust with churches in our area and how the pews are full of sinners. She ranted about how local pastors weren’t holy enough to recognize the calling on her life and how no one would give her a chance. She linked this to the idea that she made them uncomfortable because she “called out” their unrighteousness.
At some point, she took a breath and I confessed, “Our church also has pews full of sinners.”
She must have been caught off-guard by my honesty because, for the first time since sitting across from me, she was quiet.
I continued, “Every pastor here, every person here is a sinner in need of Christ’s forgiveness. We are not going to pretend to be anything but that. But, if I may be so bold, I don’t know why you expect anything different from our church or any other church.”
Exasperated, she blurted, “Well I know everyone sins but they don’t all sin as badly as people in these churches.”
I prayed for her and she left. Probably on to the next local church office.
I sat at the table for a bit in shock. Obviously, I knew her arguments were far from logical and that she wasn’t in a place to currently hear Truth.
I felt sad for her. Our conversation replayed in my head for a few days thereafter and I prayed that God would help peel back the rejection she felt and show her His love and grace.
To be completely honest, I also felt irritated. I love my church family and can get really protective of them (which comes with having a shepherd’s heart), so I was disgusted that she criticized them. Trust me, I know we are sinners, but you don’t have to come in and get all finger-pointy about it! So, God was having to do work in me because of this stranger. Here is what He was reminding me about:
I do not have to protect His reputation. He is a big God and is not offended by the finger-pointy stranger.
I cannot carry this long-term in my thought life. I have to let it go. People say things; it doesn’t mean I have to let it resonate, marinate, or complicate my life.
Forgive her. Yes, she was bitter and brazen but she was also hurt and confused. Extend grace from a distance and trust that God will speak to her heart.
Okay, God. I’m going to work on that.
Just about the time I felt like I was able to shake off this haunting conversation and walk in a place of forgiveness, another conversation surfaced about “sinners in the pew.”
This time, it was one of our own church families. They announced that they were leaving our church and going elsewhere because they could no longer attend a church where sinners were permitted to attend. Now, unlike the stranger in the office, they were more upset by a single person’s sin, but the statements were similar. “We know everyone sins, but this person’s sin is too much.”
It is important to note here that “this person’s sin” was not done against or to said family leaving…they just happened to be privy to some of the details of the situation. And, I guess that was enough to lead them to leave a place where they had invested years.
This time, I didn’t feel sadness. I felt anger. When a stranger attacks the family, it is easier to dismiss. When a member of the family of God attacks another family member, well that is devastating. I was broken that they were choosing criticism over compassion and distance above decency. Didn’t they believe that all things can be redeemed through Christ Jesus (Colossians 1:19-22)? Didn’t they know we are to bear one another’s burdens (Galatians 6:2)? Weren’t they aware that the church is a place where the unhealthy are welcome so that they may find restoration through the love of Christ?
I found myself asking questions that they should have asked themselves. Maybe they did? I don’t know. What I do know is that they left. I also know that the “sinner” they were critical of allowed God to work in their life and redemption happened in their situation. I also know that God used this specific situation to prune me and reteach some similar lessons:
I do not have to protect His reputation or even the reputation of His Church. He is a big God and is not offended by the finger-pointy Christ-follower. The Word says that nothing will prevail against His church - not sin, not Satan, and not sinners (Matthew 16:18).
I cannot carry this long-term in my thought life. I have to let it go. I miss people when they leave the church; it honestly depresses me. But, I have to let them go and trust that they will participate in the larger Church body and allow Christ to move in their heads and hearts.
Forgive them. This is where God is still pruning. My mama bear spirit and shepherd’s heart would rather give the the top 10 reasons why they are biblically wrong, but they likely made their decision out of their own hurt and despair. They, too, need grace. I cannot expect them to extend grace to someone if I cannot display grace toward them.
Okay, God. I am working on that. After all, I need grace from my church family when I sin, when I fail, and when I mess up.
There will always be sinners in the church pews and there will always be sinners who vacate the church pews. Our response? We lift our heads up and look at the Redeemer - for there is our Help (Psalm 121:1). If our eyes are wandering, we will focus on others and begin to compare and point fingers. If we are focused on Christ, we will be aware of our own unrighteousness, we will recognize our own need for forgiveness, and we will be moved in compassion to love the other sinners sitting next to us in the church pew.
Until next time friend,
I invite you to grab a cup of coffee, tea, or chai and sit with me. If you haven’t yet purchased God’s Big Ask, you can do so here: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0BGKHY7KM
