Walled up in the WAIT
The wait-game. Played by us all on a daily basis. The game of traffic, check-out lines, drive-thrus, pay-days, school car lines, staff meetings, roasts in ovens, Christmas morning, and the list continues… We wait a lot in life. One would assume that with all the practice we receive that we would be champions at waiting. Truthfully, waiting is one of those musts that we just don’t prefer.
Waiting is the companion to Time. Their family relation is tight-knit and their bond is unbreakable. This tends to mean that our dislike for Waiting is also transposed to Mr. Time. Their relative, Patience, is also strongly resented. In fact, let’s just say that this is a family reunion we tend to dodge, ignore, and despise.
It has little to do with the simple irritation of waiting in a long line or counting down the hours until the end of the workday. Our distrust of Waiting came in the deeper, more desperate moments.
Waiting on biopsy results.
Waiting for the employment opportunity.
Waiting on the positive pregnancy results.
Waiting in the hospital room.
Waiting for the judge to approve the adoption.
Waiting on escrow to close.
Waiting for the spouse to come to Jesus.
Waiting for the safe return of a military child.
Waiting on the financial turnaround.
Waiting on your dream to come to fulfillment.
Sometimes I feel like I spend most of my life waiting; hovering on the dash between the need and the answer. The gap where I feel like Mr. Time taunts and teases. Small thoughts arise in a circle and swirl before me creating a floating target.
The outside circle includes those simple, honest questions like: Why? What if? How?
The middle circle of the target asks thicker, harder questions like:
Where are you, God? What am I supposed to do in this?The center, that prominent red dot asks just one question: Will I wait?
Time.
Not an enemy.
An opportunity.
Selections of grace or resistance.
Choice.
To be used for His glory or
To grab a that which guilts.
Time.
Stillness and trust.
Moments of waiting
So easily traded for empty
Shallowness.
Time.
In the uneasiness of the pause
In the patience of the wait
In the selection to trust
Choice.
In my waiting, I can easily throw the dart at the board and land on fear. I can bullseye anxiety, mistrust, anger, and hopelessness. My aim is good here.
In the hard waiting though, these empty companions circulate more questions, more angst, and more uneasiness. It is natural to feel lost and lonely in hard-waits. It is human to hurt and fear. It is so very hard to consider the possibilities of the outcome and not grow weary.
But greater is He that is in me (you) than he that is in the world. (1 John 4:4)
When my arrow has pointed towards and struck on that which guilts, I have a Victor who shows up with His fiery arrows. I imagine God taking up His bow and with immaculate accuracy, His arrow splits mine in half, causing it to dislodge and fall.
I have choices to make as I face the reality of time. I can lean towards the propensity to be consumed by the temporary or I can choose to anchor to the Eternal God who works outside and beyond my limitations.
Before the walls of Jericho fell, two Israeli spies snuck into the compound. Somehow, they found themselves sheltered by a well-known prostitute named Rahab. This was not an Israeli woman, she was not an old friend, she was arguably not a believer in God, and she definitely wasn’t living a wholesome lifestyle. In this moment though, she was God’s answer for the protection of these two spies. When the enemy came to her door, she hid the spies on her roof and misled the attackers, sending them on a rabbit trail.
I can imagine the two men, sheltered under stalks of flax, staring into their own floating target. As their hearts pounded violently and the sweat beaded profusely, they were faced with fear, anxiety, and questions about the longevity of their lives. Did God send them into this compound to only fall prey to their enemy? God, why would we take shelter in a harlot’s home? She could barter with our lives!
I can also imagine their great relief as they heard Rahab mislead the enemy. Here was God showing up with His bow and shooting down the arrows of doubt that too often arise in the waiting.
Rahab partook in God’s plan to keep the spies safe and then requested the same faithful protection from their God. She turned to the spies and said “...for the Lord, your God is God in heaven above and on the earth below. 12 “Now then, please swear to me by the Lord that you will show kindness to my family, because I have shown kindness to you.” (Joshua 2:11-12)
She had recognized a good God, one that was faithful to His people. In a place where they faced great danger, He had intervened in the waiting. So she made her request known and, later, when the walls were surrounded by the Israelite army, Rahab and her family were shown kindness.
I wonder though, how she felt in the waiting. She later watched as the Israelites circled her hometown for six days in silence. The Bible tells us that her home was located in the wall of Jericho, itself (Joshua 2:15), so she had a birdseye view of the Israelite army as they walked in circles around the compound. Maybe she tried to signal her friends from her window. Maybe she made a desperate attempt to pray to a God she hardly knew. Maybe she was shooting imaginary arrows at a target full of disbelief. Maybe she began to doubt the spies’ promise and regretted having sheltered them.
On the seventh day, when the army finished the seventh circle, they yelled and the walls began to crumble. I can almost see her tears and hear her anguish. But God! Her waiting seemed to be fruitless. The walls were falling.
What season of waiting are you sitting in right now? What promise are you trying to hold onto but you feel as though it is slipping away? As you stare at the floating board in front of you, where are you aiming? Do you look at that center circle and wonder, “Will I wait?” Or are you so far past that question and find yourself neck-deep in “I have been waiting”?
Remember, God works outside the parameters of minutes and days. His eternal, full-view picture is known to Him and the steps along the way are orchestrated by Him. If you are neck-deep in the “I have been waiting” and you feel as though proverbial walls are falling in on you, let Rahab’s experience be an encouragement to you that God does not quit on you; He does not abandon you in the waiting.
Rahab felt the Earth shake and she experienced the undoing of her city walls, but we see that God is faithful even in the crumbling. Joshua 6:20 tells us that the army shouted and the walls collapsed, then in verse 23 we see that “the young men who had done the spying went in and brought out Rahab, her father and mother, her brothers and sisters and all who belonged to her. They brought out her entire family and put them in a place outside the camp of Israel.”
She was brought out after the walls came down. Remember, her home was located in the wall! While we are not privy to every detail of this miracle, we do see that she was not brought out to safety until the walls had fallen. God didn’t save her when it was convenient or conventional, He charismatically saved her when it was conclusively complex.
As we straddle the space between our need and our answer, as we stare down the floating target of doubt and despair, and as we wait for our timely miracle, may we grasp hold of the faithful God who is the Way-Maker in the complex and confusing. His use of time is eternal and conclusive. The choice we have to make is whether we will wait for His goodness or grab at the temporary. Will we wait for His time or force what we want right now? Will we wait for His deliverance and His response even if the walls have started to crumble?
Time is not the enemy. It is an opportunity to select His grace as we trust His timing. Waiting is always long but we can make the hard choice to let the space be consumed by faith instead of fear. Even when the walls appear to be falling, God still has a redemptive plan for you and me. Remember, Greater is He that is in You!
Until next time friend.
