It was my honor to sit down with Pastor Rich Guerra, the SoCal Network Superintendent of the Assemblies of God, last week to discuss my book. In this video, I answer important questions about God’s Big Ask and highlight some of the behind-the-scene victories and challenges of writing this book.

All the anticipation, all the countdowns, all the preparation, sleepless nights, hours staring at jumbled words on a screen, and the whispered prayers through gritted teeth have led to this moment. Publication day!

God knew what you would need to hear before you even knew you needed to hear it. Words were written on cold mornings that wouldn’t be necessary until the hot summer days of pain. Chapters were planned two years ago for this moment - the opening of the book for the first time, the inhaling of the text in your current situation, the long-ago preparation for the here and now.

Let me introduce you to my first book, God’s Big Ask.

Walls crumble. Disappointments repeat. Pain becomes too close a friend. In our weariness, we struggle to embrace God’s direction because we feel as though He asks too much, given our current circumstances.

Clouded.
Head and heart weighty,
Burdened by the murky.
Trouble descends.
Tears take residence.

Currently, I have no words.

In this void, every syllable seems trivial. The formation of letters to words takes too much effort. The capturing of language is too difficult because I do not know what to say. I am not even sure how I completely feel.

Remember when you would ask something of your dad when you were young? Sometimes the answer would be, “Go ask your mom.” You would saunter off to find mom and upon asking the same question, you would hear the response, “Go ask your dad.” 

Confusion and frustration would set in as you thought, “Why can’t someone just answer my question?”

Words do not always seem enough, but often It is how we try to make sense of what is. Consonants and vowels blended together To form expressions for what we have to weather. 

I am re-learning how to anticipate. That may sound weird but after the last two years where I marinated in disappointment, anticipation has not come easy to me. To anticipate means to look forward, to expect, to respond to something beforehand.

    I laughed because gray hair was now a possibility for me; it was no longer this foreign concept that alluded me. I like the fact that God is essentially declaring that He isn’t absent in our old age; however, I couldn’t help but wonder, “Why doesn’t God rescue us from growing old?”