My friends, it has been a while since I have written for this blog. 

Three months ago, I gave birth to a beautiful and healthy baby girl. Brielle Shiloh has already lit up our lives and is a testimony to God’s faithfulness.

I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t write about the topics I had set aside for the month of March. I assumed I would be able to because I thought I had done enough heart work and spent enough time in prayer.

This year, I allowed myself to sit in the darkness of the Holy Week. Since we know the end of the story, it is too easy to move past the tension and despair of the days ahead of Resurrection Sunday.

She began to voice her disgust with churches in our area and how the pews are full of sinners. She ranted about how local pastors weren’t holy enough to recognize the calling on her life and how no one would give her a chance. She linked this to the idea that she made them uncomfortable because she “called out” their unrighteousness…

It was a fun day. From the road, one could see multiple bright-colored jumpers gently swaying with excitement. The bold splashes of blue and yellow invited on-lookers to join the celebration, to drop the seriousness and revel in childlike joy. There was an ice cream truck serving up swirls of bliss and the fire raging from the BBQ pit wafted aromatic smells that lifted anyone’s countenance. It was the end of summer…

I am always tempted to choose words that are encompassed in comfort. On the other hand, God chooses words saturated in uneasiness, because if we become complacent, we tend to become lazy, distant, and stagnant. So, His words for me have always been tinged with discomfort for the purpose of spiritual and practical development.

It is important to say healthy goodbyes to hard things and to properly grieve the losses and disappointments of the past year. It is necessary to name the pain and permit yourself time to question and lament. Yet, in the same space, we must also recognize that we are not betrayed or forgotten by our Lord.

When was the last time you felt wonder? Do you remember the last time your senses were overwhelmed and you froze in amazement, inhaling with great awe? Where were you and what was happening?

This past week, many families began the season of celebrating and incorporating a variety of traditions - some rooted in generations past and some birthed new in hopes of leaving a legacy. Often celebrations and traditions are necessary to help remind us and recalibrate us to the importance of godliness, thanksgiving, and worship.

Here, in California, we can only dream of real fall. We decorate with fake leaves instead of raking up real ones. We buy sweaters only to layer them over t-shirts so we can take them off by mid-afternoon. We visit pumpkin patches in our flip-flops and drink pumpkin cold brew because the hot lattes are just too much.